Is Using A Cam Site Considered Cheating?

Is using a cam site cheating? 

Reddit polls and surveys paint a complex picture—most people don’t see watching porn as infidelity, but flirting online splits the crowd, and paying for OnlyFans or visiting strip clubs? 

Well, that’s another story.

Some argue cam sites are just harmless fun, like watching porn but with footage that happens to be live. "It’s just entertainment," they say, as long as there's no emotional attachment. 

But for others, it's a slippery slope into emotional infidelity, especially when the lines between watching and participating blur.

Is Watching Live Cams A Form of Cheating?

Unfortunately, there are no definitive surveys on whether cam site usage is considered cheating. 

However, there are many proxy surveys that we can use to find a consensus. 

One Reddit poll asked 407 users for their verdict on cheating from the following scenarios:

Is watching porn cheating?

• 3.4% - Yes
• 96.6% - No

Is masturbating to porn cheating?

• 4.5% - Yes
• 95.3% - No

Is flirting with someone online other than your partner cheating?

• 53.3% - Yes
• 46.7% - No

Is sexting with someone other than your partner cheating?

• 83.5% - Yes
• 16.5% - No

Is subscribing to an OnlyFans account cheating?

• 27% - Yes
• 73% - No

Is visiting a strip club cheating?

• 21.4% - Yes
• 78.6% - No

If we take these numbers and extrapolate, how many people would think using a cam site is cheating?

It's hard for us to imagine a situation where visiting a cam site would be considered worse than visiting a strip club. One is up close and personal, the other is literally a single click away from Google.

But the act of visiting a strip club is not the same as visiting a strip club, booking out a private booth and letting your hands run wind. 

We can extend the same logic to cam sites.

The leap from visiting a cam site to using it to solicit private shows will surely send us way over the figure of 20% who view going to a strip club as cheating.

It seems reasonable to draw a closer parallel with "flirting with someone online".

While there is an obvious difference between flirting with a stranger on a dating site and flirting with a paid webcam model, it wouldn't surprise us if the same 53.3% of users saw them as equivalent acts of cheating.

Instead of looking at raw numbers, perhaps we should look at the arguments from real-life users.

Perspective 1: "It’s Just Entertainment"

Many people view cam sites as simply another avenue of adult entertainment, no worse than watching porn or reading Literotica. For this crowd, cam sites do not constitute cheating because there is no physical interaction.

"Why should watching a cam site be treated any differently to porn?" argues Jake, a regular cam site user. "It's a fantasy, not reality. I'm never gonna meet these girls. There's no emotional connection, it's just harmless cheap thrills. My partner and I have a rock solid relationship and she doesn't see these sites as threat to us. Does she like that I have cam sites in my browser history? Probably not, but I can't imagine she's enamoured with me whacking one out on PornHub either."

The just-entertainment view is grounded in the belief that as long as there is no emotional attachment or intent to pursue a real-life relationship, it can't be considered cheating.

The vast majority of polls show a consensus that watching porn is fine in a relationship:

Still, whether you agree that live cams = watching porn is a major talking point.

It's no secret that many cam sites are designed to be interactive and engaging. Even if you don't splash cash on private shows, what about simply taking part in the show? Does setting off a tip-activated vibrator count as cheating?

It's a fine line between watching virtual sex and participating in it. 

Perspective 2: "It's Emotional Infidelity"

On the other end of the spectrum, many angry partners and spouses believe that cam sites represent a form of emotional infidelity. 

You don't have to search far on Reddit to find countless examples of partners who feel betrayed after discovering a stray Chaturbate payment.

"It honestly blows my mind that a guy can think paying for cam sex is the equivalent to watching porn. Chatting to girls online, encouraging them to take their clothes off, is a complete abuse of trust." says Emily, who discovered her partner using LiveJasmin. "He was spending money on these models, chatting with them, and racking up bills that could have gone towards vacations or spending time together. It felt like he was seeking something outside of our relationship and it hurt beyond belief."

Still, Emily was reluctant to place all cam site usage in the same cheating bucket.

"Look, I can understand the argument. If a guy is watching a couple have sex on cam, is it really any different to watching an amateur clip on a porn site? Maybe it's not so bad. But the dynamic changes as soon as he starts engaging with a performance. To actually go ahead and pay for private shows... that's a gut punch. That's clearly cheating on an emotional level."

Perspective 3: "It Depends How You Use The Cam Site"

For many, the issue is not black and white. 

There are both public and private cam shows. Should they really be treated the same?

The cheating dilemma exists in a grey area, but it's the act of paying for the service that leads to conflict.

"I think it depends on the couple," says Dr. Rebecca Harris, a couples therapist. "It's easy to say that partners should communicate their expectations, but at what point is a guy going to sit down and announce his enjoyment of cams? It doesn't happen very often. What we often see is that one partner 'discovers' the other has been using these services, and the surprise takes on the form of betrayal. Typically, when there are financial transactions involved, that's when things begin to spiral."

"Socially, we find it much easier to dismiss a partner visiting porn sites as idle browsing. But if he/she decides to subscribe to a service, to actually commit both time AND money, that's when the line is definitively crossed. It's hard to say cam sites are any different to other forms of adult entertainment, but to the outsider, porn looks like a commodity and a cam show looks like a service."

So... in other words, it's not just the emotional infidelity. 

It's the financial infidelity, too.

Financial Infidelity: Viewing Free vs. Spending Money

We've read through dozens of forum threads and Reddit discussions on this subject.

A common theme we see is the evidence of financial transactions as a trigger point for the accusations of infidelity. 

It's difficult to tell whether this is correlation or causation. 

Are partners upset at their other halves paying for webcam services - as opposed to viewing shows free? Or is this simply a case that the partner only found out because she spotted a non-discreet payment charge on her partner's statement?

In either case, it's easy to see how the act of spending money on cams could have a detrimental effect on trust inside the relationship. It might not be the same as burning hundreds on an escort, but it's money spent on sexual gratification outside of the relationship.

The money spent is a stark reminder that the pages were not simply visited accidentally. 

If we look at the survey results above, there is a clear divide between the act of "watching" and "flirting", in terms of how we perceive infidelity. 

So, to answer our original question - is using a cam site considered cheating? - we think it depends on a) your partner's attitude towards adult content, and b) to what end you 'use' the cam site:

• Are you a freeloading cheapskate who faps and then leaves without a trace? 
• Are you a power user showering girls in tips and dollar bills?
• Do you watch cams in the same way you would watch porn? 
• Or are you pursuing an intimate connection that goes beyond consuming a digital commodity?

Let us know what you think in the comments below.

Do you think using a cam site is cheating?

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